Afghanistan Returns
My husband is back in Afghanistan and I recently picked up a book about Afghanistan. My mother bought it some time ago and recently finished it. I don’t know whether her buying it had anything to do with my being there.
The book is The Places in Between by Rory Stewart. The guy spends his vacations walking around Asian countries and this book is about his walk from Herat to Kabul in early 2002.
The first thing that struck me when reading the book is how poorly Afghans come off. Although many reviewers did not seem to notice this (though the New York Times reviewer sort of did), I think that most Afghans, if they were to read the book, would call Mr. Stewart a liar.
Of course, they would be wrong. It was difficult for me to read all the hypocrisy (”Muslims are the most hospitable people; We are the most hospitable Muslims; now give me money to buy the dry crust of bread I am serving you…”) again since most of the time I was there I worked hard to block it out. When there, I constantly echoed the Afghans’ own mantra: Afghanistan is an extremely hospitable country, Afghanistan is an extremely hospitable country…
I repeated this although I was invited to about 10 times fewer homes in my two years there than my time in Russia and Tajikistan. A number of times I found myself, like Mr. Stewart, invoking Muslim hospitality in order to get the most modest concession (e.g. letting us drive through a village where we had sponsored a project) out of people. And unlike Stewart, I usually had something to offer and never came with a weapon.
I never entered a house in the former Soviet Union without having food shoved into my hands. I never left a Tajik home without food in my hands or in my stomach. In Tajikistan, if you refuse food, they give you something to walk out the door with, and will trick you into taking it if you refuse.
One suspects that many of the readers of The Places in Between will not understand the extent to which Stewart’s narrative condemns the Afghans he met, because they do not know what is the real tradition of Asian hospitality. They may not know that in Russia, where millions still live without land, electricity, or even more than $1.50 per day, that if you enter the house of a poor person, you risk plunging him into starvation because he really will give you his last piece of bread. If you so much look at someone’s coat, he will give it to you. They may not know that when Stewart comments on being refused entry to a house, he is basically condemning the owner of the house to hell- since hospitality is a must in the Muslim tradition.
Of course, part of it is Stewart’s fault. Rather than relying on strangers and normal people, poor people, he is forced by the situation and his own approach to rely on commanders and their lackeys- not the most generous or hospitable Afghans. He uses the old-fashioned tradition of getting letters of authority to go from one area to the next, so that he is always under someone’s protection.
In Afghanistan, this means he was always under some warlord’s protection. When you deal with butchers and mafia men, you have to expect to be surrounded by nasty people.
Whether he could have made it one kilometer on his own is another question, but I suspect that it is possible if only just. And I’m certain that if he had, he would have encountered an entirely different country- perhaps one full of people like the guards who begged him to stay with them when their master was out, who I’m sure would have fried him their last eggs, and borrowed money to feed him fresh bread.
I am sure of this because though I was invited into few houses, those people showed amazing kindness and generosity. And I was treated to the remnants of Asian hospitality at least once… when I complimented a colleague on her scarf, and she gave it to me, against all insistence and persuasion to make her keep it. It almost reminded me of Russia…
- Optimism, Afghanistan | Time: 21.0.12 (UTC+8)
DAMMIT…I gave away my copy of the book..you make me want to read it again…may I borrow yours?
WHY in the world did he go in JANUARY? From Herat to Kabul via Changchara? Too bad he didn’t pack Immodium…the diahrea could have killed him (seriously).
Comment by haji 0 matic — 20.11.2006 @ 05.0.56
E, I haven’t read the book but I hear all the time (among locals) that the hospitable nature of Afghans was gone. They didn’t like to invite foreigners for fear of some sort of reprisal or just that they were afraid to run out of food.
My Khala in Panjsher said that her relatives in the village were no longer as welcoming b/c their city relatives (inc. my Khala) were there for so long that some starved to death.
Foreign men aren’t allowed in so people wouldn’t think that something ‘illicit’ was happening. Women not invited so they wouldn’t be thought to corrupt their family women. & etc. It’s sad.
I will say though, that once I left the Afghan culture and went to high school, I learned to quickly curb my generosity. You get used & very rarely make true friends.
Sadly, maybe Afghans learned that lesson.
Comment by Asiyah — 20.11.2006 @ 05.0.43
Haji- One does wonder about the guy. As if it’s not bad enough to walk through Hazarajat.
Asiyah- Your country relatives starved to death, or the city ones? Truly sad… regarding “foreign” men not being allowed in, one would still think that the village could welcome a man into the mosque or into a guest house. Most decent-sized villages do have one guest house or one room where a man or woman could stay (if the group is comprised of people who are all the same sex) if someone wanted. But very often even this was offered with reluctance. However, the whole idea of keeping that stupid dog with him (he brings a dog, and asks for housing for the DOG, imagine!) probably didn’t earn him any friends, either.
Comment by Administrator — 20.11.2006 @ 05.0.10
Elizabeth, the country relatives starved b/c they were providing for their city guests. My uncle and I actually discussed this last night. He went to Mazar countryside recently and he said he was pleased to see some old Afghan hospitality. He said that now, hospitality is only in exchange for something (echoing your post). Remembering your blog, I asked him if it was always like that and he said it wasn’t. I think I might write about this in my blog…
Comment by Asiyah — 21.11.2006 @ 06.0.39
E,
If he comes down to Kabul, see if there is a way if you can put us in contact. If he’s up for it, I’d like to meet him.
Comment by Q.A — 23.11.2006 @ 06.0.46
If Q gets to meet him then it’s only fair for me to get to meet him.
Not to sound like a 7 year old. But still.
Comment by Asiyah — 23.11.2006 @ 12.0.00
Asiyah- “hospitality is only in exchange for something (echoing your post)”
Well that is not my opinion, that was a theme in the book. I feel that there is a lot of hospitality among the poor, but when you get to the “new Afghans” and commanders, that’s where you lose the traditions. Just to clarify.
“country relatives starved b/c they were providing for their city guests”
How awful. But I believe it. As we Christians say, they will see their rewards in heaven.
Q- I don’t know this guy, I just read the book. I guess you could look him up online.
Comment by Administrator — 24.11.2006 @ 19.0.38
E,
I don’t have much interest in meeting the dude that wrote the book. I was asking about your husband, if he was going to be in Kabul and wanted to meet up…q
Comment by Q.A — 25.11.2006 @ 04.0.59
Q- I get it! I will ask him though he’s not there too often.
Comment by Administrator — 25.11.2006 @ 17.0.32
I’d like to be part of the welcoming committee…if I’m there. I’m going back to the U.S. to study for the bar.
Comment by Asiyah — 27.11.2006 @ 07.0.59
Hi Elisabeth! Interesting blog…
No, I don’t work for any humanitarian org. but I spent a wonderful year working in Senegal and that’s where I met 007…
Nice to meet you in the blogsphere!
Comment by Qalamana — 27.11.2006 @ 16.0.00
You are wonderful. You are formidable.
I always praise people who are able to be not only an active part of the critical mass, but those who actively try to enlarge it.
Much love to you,
Beav’
Comment by beaver — 02.12.2006 @ 01.0.15
you have got to much info
Comment by athena — 19.03.2007 @ 23.0.08
is there still war in afghanistan???
Comment by Parantar — 15.11.2008 @ 03.0.50