You Know You’ve Been Here Too Long When (Soviet Superstitions)
The following is a conversation that I had with my brother-in-law, which convinced me that I definitely needed to go back to the States for awhile:
Me: “Where’s N* [sister-in-law]?”
BIL: “Oh, she ate some melon, then forgot she ate it and just a half hour later drank some cold water.”
Me: “Oh, my God, you’re kidding? How is she?”
BIL: “She’s a bit sick but she’s alright.”
Now, for those of you uninitiated with the world of Soviet and Russian superstitions, I will tell you that besides the fact that sitting on concrete causes infertility (your ovaries will freeze), eating melon and then subsequently (within the hour) drinking cold water causes diarrhea.
The cure, in Russia, is vodka. However my SIL is pregnant and besides, they don’t use that cure much among Tajiks here.
What struck me about the conversation was the fact that it didn’t strike me at all, at the moment. It was only a couple of minutes later that I thought, the normal reaction to this would be to get annoyed at BIL and SIL for believing this nonsense; possibly to suggest to BIL that there could be another cause for diarrhea other than melon-followed-by-water; at the very least to be amused, and to sympathise as I did, but not as sincerely I did.
For, while I know that eating melon and then drinking cold water does not necessarily cause diarrhea, I also know that anyone who does this in the former USSR will be so convinced that he or she is going to get a horrible case of diarrhea (possibly leading to dysentery, depending on how much melon and water were consumed, and how cold the water was), that he or she in fact will. Once you are determined to get sick, it’s very easy to do.
I saw my SIL today. She looked terribly weak but was determined to get well… over the weekend, so as not to go to work tomorrow, either.
- The CIS | Time: 08.1.15 (UTC+8)
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Carpetblogger- Heh! Here, they say you shouldn’t eat the early melons (since the melons come earlier, that means, don’t eat them before mid-June) because they suck up all the fertilizer. The late ones are “practically organic”. Great post.
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So today I asked a Ukrainian staffer about the watermelon-dystentary connection. She looked at me as if I had suggested babies were delivered by storks and rolled her eyes when I told her where I’d heard it.
Of course, I was inspired to ask because of the precedent conversation about how cherries are excellent for cleaning your intestines and how the Chinese are moving to Ukraine, renting fields from farmers and pumping watermelons full of poison to make them extra big.
Comment by carpetblogger — 30.06.2006 @ 15.1.17
Does this have anything to do with a “hot” food vs. “cold” food thing? I know that is common thing in desi culture, i.e. if you eat too many mangos, you’ll get sick cause it is a hot food, so you should drink lassi cause that is a cold food. But i’ve never been able to make any rhyme or reason out of what is “hot” food or “cold” food, except that too much of “hot” food makes you sick or are more difficult to digest.
Comment by Q.A. — 01.07.2006 @ 04.1.14
CB- Indeed. How old was the staffer? When I was in Ukraine, come to think of it, we didn’t hear about that particular superstition.
Q.A.- No, it has nothing to do with it. They don’t have that classification at all. “Hot” and “cold” here are literal terms that refer to the temperature of food consumed. All I know about “hot” and “cold” foods (Desi-wise) is that our Afghan cook, having been trained in Pakistan, once told me not to eat eggs and cheese for breakfast, as these are “hot” foods and my zit would never go away if I kept eating them.
“You know,” he said “the one you have on your forehead.”
Ah, the joys of Asia.
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