Tajikistan Pet Peeves
1) People who dress up like hajjis (a hajji is someone who has been to Mecca on the hajj, or pilgrimage) before going out begging, and on a related note, women who wear the hijab especially for begging.
Why do I hate this? If they are not hajjis, it’s a disgusting abuse of religion. On the one hand I would like to believe this is the case. But I’m afraid that some people are also sincere, and want to show passers-by, “Look, I’m a good person, I am a hajji, give me money.” As if that’s what God wants you to do: go on a pilgrimage, spend all your money that way, and then spend the rest of your life begging to make up for it. I specifically do not give to the ones who dress up like this, or who say prayers for money. In the first place they get a lot from the other suckers and in the second place, listen, I’ll pay for your food, or even your drugs, not your white freaking turban so you can get your extra credits from God. How many people work their whole lives to support their families and never go on hajj, though they would like to???
2) The fact that you cannot buy anything made for women that does not have sparklies attached to it (sequins, beads, glitter, whatever).
Actual conversation I had in a boutique today:
“Do you have something that goes with these pants? Something light and simple?”
“What about this?”
“Mmmm… that’s a bit bright. Do you have something without sparklies?”
“No. Sorry.”
“Oh…”
3) No mustard on hot dogs.
Instead, you get pickled carrot salad, mayonnaise, and ketchup. I actually eat these anyway, which if proof that some people can adapt to anything.
The first one was what was really bugging me, though. We were on a marshrutka and some old guy dressed up like a mullah comes up to the bus and says this loud prayer for our safety. What is paradoxical about this is that many Muslims (especially in Tajikistan) technically believe that if you are bad, bad things happen to you on this earth. (How they reconcile this with America’s wealth and the Muslim world’s extreme poverty is beyond me but anyway.)
So many people say, “Oh, she’s begging, she must have done something wrong.” This is only slightly different from the Western justification for not giving to beggars (”They’ll just spend it on alcohol/drugs anyway…” / “Get a job!” etc.).
But if the mullah, or a hajji, is begging, then suddenly- what? He must be good because he’s wearing a turban? How can a mullah or hajji possibly become a beggar? And if these “good” people can become beggars, then surely other good people can become beggars? Am I missing something?
I don’t think there’s anything equivalent to this in the West… is there?
Oh yeah, and now that I think of it, one more:
4) Telephone manners.
When we were in Russia, we were taught proper telephone manners. I’m not sure if this just never got to Tajikistan or if Persians have a totally different idea of the telephone, but telephone manners here are horrible.
A typical telephone conversation I have:
“Allo?”
“JAMSHED KANI?” Can I get Jamshed?
(They always shout, because they believe you cannot hear them otherwise.)
“Salom aleykum. Jamshed nadorem, shumo ishtiboh karded.” Hello. There’s no Jamshed here, you’ve got the wrong number.
Click.
Phone rings again in 30 seconds.
“Allo, zdravstvuyte.” Hello.
(I switch to Russian so that the conversation will go on my terms and not be limited by my horrible Persian.)
“JAMSHED KANI?”
“Nyet, zdes’ nyet nikakovo Jamsheda. Vy nye tuda popali.” No, there is no Jamshed here. You have the wrong number.
Click.
Phone rings again in 30 seconds.
“Allo, zdravstvuyte.”
“JAMSHED KANI?”
(In Russian) “Do you speak Russian?”
“Da.”
“Listen mister, you keep calling me here, but you have got the wrong number. You never even said hello! Check the number and don’t call this number again.”
Same person rings my phone every five minutes for the next six hours. Generally, I don’t answer.
Another common telephone conversation:
Ring.
“Allo, salom aleykum.” Hello.
“Ki ay?” Who’s this?
“SALOM ALEYKUM.” HELLO.
“IN KI AY?” Who is this?
“SHUMO SALOM ALEYKUM NA GUYED???”COULD YOU SAY HELLO?
I don’t answer my in-laws’ phone like that, but God knows I’d like to.
- The CIS | Time: 12.1.03 (UTC+8)
There is a beggar that frequents the hip/eclectic shopping street near my apartment that pretends to be parapalegic. The funny thing is, everyone that works/lives near there has seend him drive to the far end of the street, remove his motorized wheelchair from his trunk, and make the round up & down the five blocks preying on tourists and those from the suburbs. It’s amazing the amount of effort that goes into it. However, the most succesful beggar simply hangs around at a major intersection with a cardboard sign saying “Why Lie? I need a beer.”
Regarding hotdogs, it’s amazing how each country (even region) has its own take on the condiments. The best ones I ever had were in Denmark, and they were topped with mayo and fried onions.
Comment by Gollios — 13.06.2006 @ 14.1.02
I would certainly pay to see a Mullah get on a bus in Vegas and say a prayer. Mullets and Mullahs!
Let’s see…I think a person collecting “chartiable donations” in the name of a religion on a street corner would be a bit similar. There’s always someone with a bucket that says “Save the children” on a street corner nearby. And Gollios, we have a guy in a “wheelchair” in our neighborhood too.
I wonder how profitable it is.
Comment by Shannon — 13.06.2006 @ 16.1.15
Gollios, Is that is Rosslyn? There is a dude in Rosslyn, VA that has the same sign. I always appreciated the honesty and gave him beer…i mean change. And on the drive across the Roosevelt bridge into DC, there is often a 20ish kid who has a leg brace (and sometimes a crutch), and limps/hobbles up the street, but pretty much jogs back after the cars clear. Fun to watch.
E,
You probably know this, but one of the “prerequisites” or “conditions” of required Hajj is the ability to afford it. I would think that means feeding yourself and your family come before Hajj. But, sadly, the mullah prayers for gift tradition is a long standing one in central and south asian muslim culture. I occasionally hear stories about a great-gradfather that was a mullah that did that, but this is only from my mom talking about my dad’s family. And you may have come to learn about that cultural phenomenon…which is pretty much universal.
Comment by Q.A. — 14.06.2006 @ 04.1.35
Re: good people becoming beggars.
I think maybe the Girl Scouts selling a dollars worth of cookies for upwards of 8 bucks is on par with begging, yet people still look well upon them.
And maybe Trick or Treaters…
Comment by sideshow bob — 14.06.2006 @ 05.1.49
Gollios- That’s sort of an equivalent, but those people are horrible in their own special way, because they pretend to be charitable at that moment. Like, “Hey, it’s not for me, it’s for the children.” Blech. As for the Danish- bleeech, you can always count on them for disgusting condiments. Thanks for reminding me that it could be worse.
Shannon- DUDE, I will give the next one I see your e-mail. I’m sure he’d be happy to make a second “pilgrimage”.
Q.A.- Yes, I know, which is one of the reasons it makes me so pissed off. Because it just doesn’t make sense to have a hajji on the corner begging. Gahhh. Yes, the prayers for money are also common here- and were also common among Christians in the middle-ages. I think it’s a load of crap, personally, because doesn’t God see you paying the guy? Who do we think we are fooling?
SSB: Yes, but those are children learning how to work for money. I buy kids’ lemonade at ridiculously jacked-up prices as well, because I like to encourage children to do useful things with their time. The Mullah should have learned by now!
Comment by Administrator — 14.06.2006 @ 07.1.24
Q.A. - I’m not in Rosslyn, but it is in Virginia - Richmond to be exact. I wonder if there are trackable trends by region in panhandling tactics.
Comment by Gollios — 14.06.2006 @ 13.1.00
E, I can completely understand your sentiments, and share them. As far as who we are fooling…no one but ourselves, but who better to fool, no?
G, those trends probably are trackable. As I’ve read, at least some of the homeless/panhandling population is mobile, those, I assume, that live out of their cars or greyhound around the nation, the ones that avoid the shelter system. I recall one of the D.C. panhandlers I got to know, (as much as possible in 1 minute car window conversations), odd-job town to town guy, that once hit me up for 10 bucks to get back down to Richmond to see some family. I wouldn’t be surprised if trends spread along those lines.
Comment by Q.A. — 15.06.2006 @ 06.1.34
Provided you guys are talking about the “Why lie?” guy, this is definitely a trend as we had them in Seattle and I saw one guy in Paris, “Probably for alcohol and drugs, please have pity on me.”
Comment by Administrator — 15.06.2006 @ 06.1.34
E, you’re saying they got that trick from sea to shining sea??…how could i forget about that hobo network…trans-atlantic…that i got no guesses for, but i do appreciate truth in advertising.
Comment by Q.A. — 15.06.2006 @ 12.1.53
Perhaps we should get the fellows over at ComingAnarchy to devise a map of 4GB (4th Generation begging) Gap/Core panhandling trends.
Comment by Gollios — 15.06.2006 @ 14.1.25
Well as far as the Mullah and other religious types begging there is a long tradiaiton fo teh penniless priests begging for a living. Chistianity certainly had/has them, Hare Krishnas, I seem to recall some Buddist and Hindu sects that do that, so why not Moslems?
Comment by exmi — 15.06.2006 @ 16.1.55
Q.A. - Marketable trends spread fast.
Gollios- I’ll bet this one is older than we know.
Exmi- Using religion is one thing, but have you ever heard of someone dressing up as a priest and asking for money to support himself *because he’s a priest*? Not counting the regular tithe which they also have in Islam and which is not the same. However the abuse of religion in itself, as you say, is not new.
Comment by Administrator — 16.06.2006 @ 05.1.54